Big Les

I got a good buddy. Let’s call him Cecil. Now Cecil isn’t much on subtlety, and diplomacy isn’t his forté, so when he had a disagreement with his local bank (let’s call it Girocheque) he let ‘em know how he felt. Let me start from the beginning…
He got this job that required direct deposit to get paid, so he opened an account with Girocheque. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have anything to do with banks. Well, they gave him a check card so he could conveniently access his funds anywhere at the ATM or by using it like a credit card. This made life for Cecil quite convenient ’til he noticed one day on his ATM statement that he was short a few hundred dollars. He marched right down to his local branch to find out what the hell was going on. They explained to him that he had racked up several overdraft fees that caused his balance to go into the red, so when payday came around the negative balance was paid resulting in the loss of funds. This didn’t make any sense to Cecil.
He proceeded to explain to them the precarious situation this put him in. Rent’s due, gotta pay the light bill and such, but the bank was unrelenting. Cecil’s no-nonsense style of communicating probably didn’t aid him much in his plight, but it made perfect sense to him. “How in the hell are you gonna let me spend money that I don’t have without my approval?” he asked. They told him, “Learn to balance your check book.”
Now anyone knows when you get a little hot under the collar you gotta get away, so Cecil went fishing. Still seething from the injustice he had suffered at the hands of Girocheque, he found some solace in a rather handsome fish he caught. Admiring it, he had a thought…
He took that prized fish to the bank, opened a safety deposit box and locked it away for safe keeping. Time went by, nature took its course and the police knocked at his door. It turns out that prized fish didn’t fair too well and neither did the safety deposit boxes neighboring his.
When his court date came they found him guilty of destruction of property and ordered he pay restitution to the bank. When the court asked if he had anything to say he asked, “Where’s my fish?”

Yes, it’s begun already. Within a few hours of the pop star’s demise jokes began circulating. Some of them are actually clever. Here are a few.

Farrah Fawcet gets to heaven, and God says he will grant her one wish for all her good deeds. Farrah says she wants all the children to be safe, so God kills MJ.

McDonalds has added to their menu “a 50 year-old piece of meat stuffed in between two 8 year-old buns”.

Feel free to add your own jokes and comment as you see fit. Simply click on the “Comments” link below. Enjoy!